Poem: Nothing Matters

By Naudia J.Williams
[watch an excerpt of the poem here]

Today I just feel as if nothing matters.  We’re just standardized students slathered in a classroom with no light nor hope. Or at least that’s what I’ve gathered. Teacher, teacher I got question for you? Is it true that you all assume my hand is only raised for the bathroom. Desk feel like caskets and 308 feels like a tomb.

Do you care less about where I had to sleep last night and more about spirals? I want to know why are uniforms required and drug test are seen fit but cps doesn’t even know if their students can read or write. I guess that why Jerome is 19 in the 10th grade. I guess that’s where all cps funding went for new lockers and textbooks?

I’m sorry if I feel if this is more important than another speech by John f Kennedy I had to recite. Ask not what your country can do  for you but what you can do for your country? Well last night my country muffled another black teen for protesting that all black lives matter. I’m sorry if my buttons ain’t button down and my school pants are tattered .

I’m sorry if my tummy is grumbling in 5th period trig but mystery meat Monday makes it feel like the night before Sunday Loud and a blur. But what do I know I’m just the young folk. All we know is I like my women bbw and what northwest and blue Ivy are up too.

Creativity is encouraged and individuality is encouraged until you’re seen to be a threat.  Can’t let those teenagers be ahead of us.  Don’t bite the hand that starves you because I am desperately famished for real knowledge.  Not the ones in textbooks that look older than my teacher and my mama combined.

Tired of being strained and drained Monday thru Friday in classes that don’t teach me that my rights are not only to remain silent. Tired of being a number in a food line that isn’t nutritious to my soul.  Grounded my dreams and hopes into slices and gave them to me in portions and then ask me why I can’t see the bigger picture.

Why wasn’t I that chosen few? That didnt have to broken, beaten and raped. Why couldn’t I have a 4.0 ? Why couldn’t I be the queen my mother told me I was ?I feel you Fannie, I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired too.

In history we learned that the same government that gave mlk a holiday were the same who had him killed . And all I could do was think on three cops busting in on my moms and pops and baby brother.  Claiming it is a drug raid but the only drugs my brother takes is for ADHD. And my mom for her lupus.

In gym my teacher says I’m overweight but all I could think about is how I no longer have thick curly locks because a girl was curious to see if her lighter and my hair could have a chain reaction .  And it did. It torched my freshly dyed rich wine locks ,turned them into ashes of black charcoal and it vandalized this lion. But it’s ok though because my mane will come roaring in again.

Nothing matters.  Not my hair, not my soul, not my heart. At least that’s what I gathered no one cares for the average, the queer,the black, the Jew, the Christian, the atheist ,the random black girl,the raped,and me . Nothing matters Or at least that’s what I’ve gathered or at least that’s what education has given me. That no one cares for those who are desperate to be free.